Progress shots: Before & Week 15

Well, I finally got the courage to post my "before" and "week 15" progress pics. 

Obviously I still have a long way to go, but I'm proud of how far I've come.

I'm going to start posting some of our favorite lean & green recipes here, so check back soon!

50 pounds gone forever & what that means

This is 1 pound of fat:

Now multiply that by 50!

I can't believe that in under 2 1/2 months, I am 50 pounds lighter. Words can't express how I feel but it's something along the lines of shock, giddiness, determined, and flabbergasted. I am almost 1/3 of the way to my goal.
To commemorate this milestone, I've compiled a list of what effects losing this 50 pounds has had on my life. Here it goes:

I have an abundance of energy.

Big increase in my self-confidence, as in, I know I can do this and reach my goal.

My goal of losing 180 pounds no longer seems impossible... I only have 130 to go.

While I still don't see a difference when I look in the mirror, I can see a difference in my Before & During photos.

I'm enjoying wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in years.

I am 3 pant sizes down, from a 26 to a 20.

I can't wear my wedding ring anymore.

My shirts don't hug my skin anymore. I keep feeling like I'm exposed because I'll feel air or a breeze on my torso, when really I'm not. This isn't something I ever thought about and it's a strange, new feeling for me. Maybe this is how clothes are supposed to fit?

I'm no longer afraid to share how i'm feeling, what I've gone through, or how far i've come. Telling the world how much I have to lose (see above) is big for me. It tells you just how big I am... was. The one exception to this is my Before & During photos. But I promise I WILL show them... eventually. If you have seen them, feel lucky, as I only showed a few people!

I'm much happier in general.

I have a much more positive outlook on life.

I'm starting to feel bones I never knew I had because they were covered with so much fat. 

I'm excited we are closer everyday to no longer being "the fat couple".

I'm scared because the fat girl in me still wonders if this is all a fluke... maybe something's wrong with the scale? I will continue to have to work on my mental view of how I look, feel, and where I came from. I have been overweight or obese my entire life after all.

Sometimes it feels like this is just way too easy and that surely I won't lose any more weight, but it keeps coming off.

I have a strong desire to help others who are in my situation: overweight your entire life and not thinking there is any hope to achieve your dreams. If this sounds familiar, I'd love to share with you more about my journey and pay it forward.

I am no longer just existing. I am now LIVING and LOVING LIFE!

My next big goal is 90 pounds, when I will be half way to my goal!

Bullet Post II

I can't believe it's already been 2 months since I've last posted. To briefly cover what's been going on in our lives, here is a bullet post for you.

• I quit my job and my last day of work was March 8th. Nick's dad hasn't moved in yet, but we're expecting he will within a couple weeks.
• I love love LOVE being a stay at home mom & wife. It's truly a dream come true. I love being able to spend so much time with Beebaw. Also, with him not in daycare, he's been SO much healthier. I know getting him exposed to germs now can increase his immune system. However, the poor kid was always sick. Always. Add that constant sickness on top of a minor health issue, and it caused a lot of problems for his little body.
• Still haven't started my garden. Eek! Maybe Beebaw and I will work on that next week.
• We thought we were getting another foster baby a few weeks ago. Things changed and he ended up not being placed with us. This was actually a good thing, as he was able to be placed with other siblings. However, we now have another crib set up and ready, and I got a double jogging stroller. :) We are still looking for another wee one, but are immensely enjoying our time with Beebaw as an only child. 
• On March 4th, we decided to make big changes in our lives. In just over a month, together we have lost a total of 82 pounds and that number rises every day. We both feel great and LOVE the program! Feel free to ask me for more info. I wish we would have known about this sooner. 
• No, we have not adopted Beebaw yet. We are not to that point, but are getting closer. Hopefully we will have news on this sometime this summer. 

Well I think that's it...

Leave me a comment, I love hearing from my 2 readers ;)

oh my goodness, I just quit my job

Wednesday I took a leap of faith and did something I never dreamed of doing... I gave my boss a letter of resignation. My last day will be March 8th, unless they give me the boot sooner. ;)

Nicks dad IS going to be moving in with us, so I will be here during the day to help him out. While I'm sure we are bound to butt heads now and then, I think it will be an overall positive thing for the entire family. Beebaw will get to have a grandfather in his daily life, and Papa will get to watch his grandson grow up. This also gives us the ability to have me be a stay at home mommy. I've wanted nothing more than to be able to stay home with our children. Now that the opportunity is here, i'm scared out of my wits!

I like my job and i've been there over 8 years. It's flexibility is great, and I love my coworker - she's a mother figure to me. However I feel bad for being the cause of them needing to train someone new. But, in the end, I need to do what is best for my family.

When I think about how i'll get to raise our children, not just in the evening and on weekends, I am overjoyed! And the idea of being able to get housework done, not just in the evening after baby's in bed & on the weekends when I want to rest, makes me ecstatic! We should be able to have some real family time when daddy's home from work now - not just running around trying to get stuff done.

So you see, it's a very bittersweet moment for me. I am incredibly excited to be starting this new chapter in our lives, full of new possibilities. It shall be an adventure indeed!

A sign of new beginnings.

A year and many changes

It's been almost a year since I last blogged. First let me get out all my excuses: I stopped due to depression. Then a miracle happened and my "childless-mother-depression" has since been gone. I'll get to that in a minute. And then I haven't blogged due to being plain too busy and tired. There, now that's out of the way.

In my last blog post I posted about getting new spring chicks. I have since gotten rid of all our chickens.  Nick and I have thrown around the idea of getting just two chicks this Spring, but I am not yet 100% convinced, as life as we know it is going to be turned upside down... for myself at least. 

I planted a garden and it was looking beautiful. Then life happened. I killed my garden.

We no longer are attempting any more international adoptions. We are also not playing the infertility game anymore. Those ships have long sailed away. Last January we started the process of getting licensed with our state to be foster parents. We have been licensed since May 31st of last year. 

The most exciting thing that happened to us this past year is that on May 31st, the day all our paperwork was signed off on a government workers desk, we received foster placement of the sweetest, most beautiful 5 month old baby boy. Our lives have been forever changed and we feel so blessed! For privacy purposes, we'll call him Beebaw (he loved to bee-bop to music, and thus his nickname formed). And while he's not ours legally, I will not be posting pictures of his face, which is quite unfortunate. He truly is a handsome little guy!

I have still been working full time, with Beebaw going to daycare. Our plan... no wait! I can't help but laugh at that word: plan. No "plan"of ours has ever gone to plan! What we were HOPING to do is have myself stay home full time if Beebaw were to legally become our son. We were thinking this might happen sometime in the first half of this year. However... "plans" have changed and now the plan is that Nick's dad will be moving in with us so he can have 24 hour care. This plan is slightly up in the air still. We are hoping to have things nailed down this week and then we can proceed with the needed changes.  

This next month, or rather YEAR, should be interesting to say the least!

Stay tuned...